America you’re a party tease

Okay America. We need to have a talk because I’m getting a little aggravated with you and all your laws made for the sole purpose of spoiling my fun. An example:

It’s Homecoming weekend a tradition I don’t know but what is there to know really. Parade. Drinking. Football. Drinking… Count me in. So we get the parade over with, we start the drinking. We get the football game (which we do not speak of) over with and the drinking continues. The atmosphere is great. Former students have come home to party like they used to… and they do. We finish our after tailgate and decide to go out. We hit a bar around midnight. This is awesome. The bar is packed. The party is about to peak. I’m happy, dancing, singing, and shouting having a great time. Then at 00.45 the bartenders turn on the lights and turn off the music. Last call!!! Yeah like that’s possible - the line to the bar is longer than the Rams’ loosing streak. 15 minutes later the party is over and with an angry bartender chasing me off I leave the bar.

Another example:
I’m partying in St. Louis. Now this is a bigger city so get this, the bars stay open until amazingly 3 o’clock. WOW! But two hours later the story repeats itself. The light is turned on and music turned off. A bouncer yells to the billion people on the dance floor to leave. Outside another bouncer yanks my half full beer out of my hand and throws it out.
At first I get pissed off and then I remember - You can’t drink in public in the states.

What the F... America you act like you really want me to have fun, you make me drink with your low prices, you seduce me with your big noisy bars and then when I’m all excited and ready to give in to you, you turn on the lights and throw me out and you won’t even let me finish by myself in the street. America you are the biggest party tease ever.

Denmark I don’t miss paying a million for a beer. I don’t miss paying cover charges to take a piss. But man do I miss your opening hours. Denmark you know how to party… you go all the way every time. I’ll be home in 55 days and we’re going to spend all night together without interruptions from annoying bartenders yelling at me that I have to chug my beer and get the f… out!!!