Guns, canons and deer behind concrete walls

When we foreigners think of America one thing instantly comes to mind. Guns! The liberal gun laws of the states, is one thing that is very different from Denmark. The only people I know back home who own guns are hunters. Over here everybody own a gun if not more.
Early in my stay I was driving with a new American friend and we started talking about this. I told him I’d never held a handgun before. Two seconds later I had one in my hands. He had it in his truck at any time.
In Denmark guns are kept locked away behind a steal door and Americans keep their guns in their glove compartment... alrighty...

Later I had another discussion with another American. He told me that he owned a couple of guns. I asked if he was a hunter. He was not. My obvious question: “So why do you need guns?” The answer: “To protect myself if I get robed” All right I don’t believe in killing anybody not even if they are going to take my empty wallet. But instead of going in to that part of the discussion I asked what kind of guns he owned. “I have a sniper riffle. It’s so cool, it’s can shoot through a bulletproof west”.

Hold on one second. How the h… is that going to help you against an assault.
“Oh excuse me Mr. burglar but could you run 1000 yards away you’re way too close for my scope… no no you can keep your bullet proof west on.”
You’re not in the army and you’re not a member of a swat team. Then why do you need a sniper riffle that can shoot through a city block?

Anyway I’m still a guy and obviously I asked my friends if they would take me shooting some day. So a couple of weeks ago while my girlfriend was visiting they took us shooting. Now if there’s one thing Americans know, and Danes definitely don’t know it’s guns. So they instructed us (and were very good at it, I might add).
These guys owned more guns than the Danish army and soon we were firing away like Bonnie and Clyde.
We started with the small guns and worked our way up. A couple of hours later they brought out the big gun – a 50 caliber. This gun was huge!!! I watched when they shot it and I was terrified. But my girlfriend was watching so I didn’t have a choice… I had to shoot it. My hands were shaking when I was handed the gun. As I sat down with it I did a silent prayer and then pulled the trigger. The kick felt like being run over by a medium size train.
Still in a state of chock I ask the owner of this canon what he intends to use it for.
“I only bought it to stop cars coming up my driveway.” Yes I laughed too, but guess what, he wasn’t joking. Apparently he thinks that America will experience a revolution soon… Well if the revolution comes, I know which driveway to stay away from.

The second amendment of the Constitutions, which gives the American people the right to arm themselves, says:
“A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed”.
Now my English isn’t perfect especially not when it comes to this old stuff. But judging from my experience so far, I guess what it means is:
“Buy all the guns you can afford – the bigger the better!!!”

I admit it, I think it’s fun to shoot. I think what really annoys me is that Americans always have an explanation for why they need these huge guns. In case of a revolution or if I get assaulted or for hunting whales in Missouri or maybe a deer hides behind a concrete wall… or maybe you just like things that go BOOM…